I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Mae WestTags: virginity decadence fairy-tales innuendo purity risque snow-white
Oh where, oh where had Snow White gone?
She'd found it easy, being pretty
To hitch a ride into the city.
Tags: snow-white
Let me guess - you're Grumpy?'
He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?'
Oh, right.'
[...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick.
Tags: snow-white sarcasm fairy-tale grimm
One of us will just have to stay at the cottage to keep an eye on her.' [...]
Let's see if Widow Hazel wouldn't take her in during the day, maybe teach her something useful -'
No, remember when she learned how to knit? Now we're stuck wearing these dreadful hats.'
Not so loud! She'll hear you.'
In a lower voice one of the dwarfs said, 'H.A.T.S.'
Apparently Snow White didn't know how to knit or to spell.
Tags: snow-white fun fairy-tale retelling
When people bore me, I close my eyes and try to remember the order the Seven Dwarfs marched in. But it's not always the dwarfs I think about. Sometimes aI try to list all of the Canadian provinces.
Stephan PastisTags: canada snow-white
Mirror, mirror, here I stand. Who is the fairest in the land?
Wilhelm GrimmTags: snow-white mirror fairest
Don’t worry, though, because Prince Hubert is very handsome and kind. That’s all you wanted in a boyfriend, wasn’t it?”
“No,” I said.
She raised an eyebrow. “It must be. If you had admired any other qualities you would have developed them in yourself, wouldn’t you?”
Which was really too much. I put my hands on my hips. “Aren’t fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re confusing fairy god- mothers with sales clerks.
Tags: men wishes snow-white boyfriends my-fair-godmother sales-clerks
All monsters must die except the beautiful ones
Cameron JaceTags: snow-white monsters cameron-jace
She is so lovely she could kill you without you even noticing it. A monster girl who knows when to kiss and when to kill.
Cameron JaceTags: kiss snow-white monsters
With the blood dripping from her lips, with her blood spattered white dress, and with her pale skin, she is just a horrifyingly lovely and a breathtakingly attractive sixteen-year-old girl living in Hell. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Cameron JaceTags: snow-white blood
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