I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.
Peter CameronTags: humor loner social-awkwardness
Someone came in all Starfleet badges today. Not on my shift, sadly.'
'Fascist,' Leon had said. 'Why are you so prejudiced against nerds?'
'Please,' Billy said. 'That would be a bit self-hating, wouldn't it?'
'Yeah, but you pass. You're like, you're in deep cover,' Leon said. 'You can sneak out of the nerd ghetto and hide the badge and bring back food and clothes and word of the outside world.
Tags: nerds geeks social-awkwardness
Then there’s the thing about who sits where, which I can’t stand either; it’s more of that kind of thing that makes me pull at my hair when I’m sober. We could sit with my friend between us, but I don’t like the looks of that—like he’s got two girls, one on either side, nudge, nudge, lucky dog, heh-heh. But then again if I sit on the outside of Lara, it will look like I’m some sort of third wheel, some kind of duenna, or some horrible thing like that…
Just sit, Gloria, it doesn’t matter where, because No One Is Looking At You. Hard to believe, and yet it’s an ontological starting point I must adhere to, at times, even just to get out of my apartment.
Tags: social-awkwardness
Arriving early at a party is always awkward. If you hang back and wait you look like someone who the cops should be called about. If you knock early you risk finding a host in their underwear not ready for social activity. I knocked early because underwear and social awkwardness are kind of my specialty.
Hugh AchesonTags: parties social-awkwardness promptness
For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship loneliness trust depression social-anxiety mental-illness human-relationships social-awkwardness
[...] I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theater for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life loneliness paranoia depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
Even now it comes as a shock if by chance I notice in the street a face resembling someone I know however slightly, and I am at once seized by a shivering violent enough to make me dizzy.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship loneliness paranoia friendships depression social-anxiety mental-illness human-relationships social-awkwardness
What is society but an individual? [...] The ocean is not society; it is individuals. This was how I managed to gain a modicum of freedom from my terror at the illusion of the ocean called the world.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship school society people work loneliness paranoia depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about, how should I say it? - I don't know.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life depression social-anxiety social-awkwardness
He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship death loneliness suicide depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness suicidal
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