What are you doing here, anyway? You don’t strike me as the speed dating type.’
‘I lost a bet with Alfie,’ he says. ‘You met him at The Cow that day . . .?’ Waistcoat Guy, I think, nodding. ‘I said to him that if you didn’t text me back then I’d try speed dating, because I’m officially the worst single man in London.’
‘You’re not!’ I say. ‘I mean, it wasn’t a bad date. I was just . . .’
‘Don’t say you were drunk! It’s the biggest post-sex insult ever.’
‘. . . drunk, I mean drinking, a bit more than I ought, and I was, uh, cringing at the thought that I’d been a nightmare date.’
‘No. You were great,’ says Mark/Skinny Jeans.
‘Actually, the biggest post-sex insult is “we did?”’ says Robert. ‘But that’s another story.
Tags: humor robert-on-the-phone speed-dating
I've sequenced the questions for maximum speed of elimination,’ I explained. ‘I believe I can eliminate most women in less than forty seconds. Then you can choose the topic of discussion for the remaining time.’
‘But then it won’t matter,’ said Frances. ‘I’ll have been eliminated.’
‘Only as a potential partner. We may still be able to have an interesting discussion.’
‘But I’ll have been eliminated.’
I nodded. ‘Do you smoke?’
‘Occasionally,’ she said.
I put the questionnaire away. ‘Excellent.’ I was pleased that my question sequencing was working so well. We could have wasted time talking about ice-cream flavours and make-up only to find that she smoked. Needless to say, smoking was not negotiable. ‘No more questions. What would you like to discuss?
Tags: romance dating speed-dating don-tillman graeme-simsion the-rosie-project
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