Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.
Dave BarryI take my hat off to you — or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you in spiders.
J.K. RowlingTags: humor albus-dumbledore spiders
It's spider season. Every year, right about now, thousands of the godless eight-legged bastards emerge from the bowels of hell (or the garden, whichever's nearest) with the sole intention of tormenting humankind.
Charlie BrookerTags: humor fear humour funny dread spiders torment arachnophobia
It was no mean trick doing the wiring with those mittens on. But I managed it and crawled out, batting spiders into the shadows. I could hear a thud as they hit the floor joists, then a scuttling sound, then, worst of all, the silence of spiders.
Bailey WhiteThey made for his noise far quicker than he had expected. They were frightfully angry. Quite apart from the stones no spider has ever like being called Attercop, and Tomnoddy of course, is insulting to anybody.
J.R.R. TolkienTags: humour tolkien spiders hobbit insults-and-slander
There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
Adam RexTags: dead aliens spiders smekday
Referring to Jumper the spider, who needs to hide himself in human form, and he's learning to act like a human.
"I'm sure I can learn to walk faster than that," he said desperately.
"But you'll also need to learn the nuances of human behavior. Such as not going around naked."
"What's wrong with being natural?" he demanded.
"Humans aren't natural. They are girt about by all manner of conventions. It will take time for you to catch up with them all.
No one knows, incidentally, why Australia's spiders are so extravagantly toxic; capturing small insects and injecting them with enough poison to drop a horse would appear to be the most literal case of overkill. Still, it does mean that everyone gives them lots of space.
Bill BrysonOh here's a nice one, he brown recluse spider. This once resides in wooded areas. In other words, next to my head while I'm sleeping. ' In a small number of cases, a bite from a brown recluse can produce organ damage with occasional fatalities.' "
"That's the worst-case scenario. how can it be? It's called a 'recluse'"
"It's been my experience that all recluses have a mean streak.
Tags: funny spiders mothers-and-daughters
Imperio!”
Moody jerked his wand, and the spider rose onto two of its hind legs and went into what was unmistakably a tap dance.
Everyone was laughing — everyone except Moody.
“Think it’s funny, do you?” he growled. “You’d like it, would you, if I did it to you?”
The laughter died away almost instantly.
Tags: mad-eye-moody spiders curses spells tap-dance
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