Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

Steve Martin

Tags: humor comedy encouragement steve-martin

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Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Criticize things you don't know about
Be oblong and have your knees removed

Steve Martin

Tags: grandmother steve-martin

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Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

Steve Martin

Tags: steve-martin grandmother-s-song

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Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever heard. About three years late, women got wise an my frustration returned to normal levels.

Steve Martin

Tags: memoir steve-martin born-standing-up

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