Now, this one might be a little stringy, but then again, it's fiddle player."
That isn't fiddle player, it's piccolo player."
How can you tell?"
It's PIPING hot!"
Then blow on it first!

Stephen Sondheim

Tags: humor sweeney todd



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Let Pirelli's / Miracle Elixir / Activate your roots, sir...

Keep it off your boots, sir- / Eats right through.

Yes, get Pirelli's! / Use a bottle of it! / Ladies seem to love it...

Flies do, too!

Stephen Sondheim

Tags: sweeney todd barber elixar pirelli



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Fred: "Is that brick wall your boyfriend?"
Doug: "Only in my dreams."
Fred: "Oh, you too? I'm Fred."
Doug: "Doug. I should mention, in all fairness though that Christy's boyfriend is my best friend. He's the brick wall you should be worried about.

Robin Jones Gunn

Tags: todd miller christy



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Christy: "My grandma made this. I've had it since elementary school."
Todd: "I never knew that."
Christy: "I never knew you left your towel on the floor."
Todd: "Uh-oh. Is this one of those issues they talked about in our premarital counseling? Should I hang up towels so you feel more loved?

Robin Jones Gunn

Tags: humor todd christy christy-miller



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Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.

Who sir, you sir?
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!

Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

Stephen Sondheim

Tags: epiphany todd blood gore sweeny



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Swing your razor wide! Sweeney, hold it to the skies!

Stephen Sondheim

Tags: sweeney todd



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I take it that's where you met Todd.'
'Yep. Almost five years ago. Can you believe it?'
'Five years! You and Todd should be the poster couple for the 'Love Waits' campaign.'
Christy laughed. 'It didn't seem that long. A lot has happened during those five years. But I do agree that true love is worth the wait. I'd wait another five years for Todd if I had to. He's the only man for me. Ever.

Robin Jones Gunn

Tags: love true todd christy-miller robin-jones-gunn sierra-jensen waits



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He's a woman.
He's a grown woman
He's a old woman.

Patrick Ness

Tags: todd viola



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Ow, Todd? Ow?

Patrick Ness

Tags: funny todd manchee ow



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Spackle!” Manchee barks, tho he’s too chicken to attack now that I’ve held back. “Spackle! Spackle! Spackle!”
“Shut up, Manchee,” I say.
“Spackle!”
“I said shut up!” I shout, which stops him.
“Spackle?” Manchee says, unsure of things now.
I swallow, trying to get rid of the pressure in my throat, the unbelieveable sadness that comes and comes as I look at it looking back at me. Knowledge is dangerous and men lie and the world keeps changing, whether I want it to or not.
Cuz, it ain’t a Spackle.
“It’s a girl,” I say.
It’s a girl.

Patrick Ness

Tags: girl todd manchee spackle



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