Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –"
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor fred-weasley george-weasley molly-weasley toilet



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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...

Bill Cosby

Tags: humor thinking brother toilet



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No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor harry-potter toilet dudley-dursley



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The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.

Thomas Lynch

Tags: civilization civilized toilet



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We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.'
'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

Adam Rex

Tags: humor aliens toilet



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The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer

Tags: toilet holly foaly lep mud-boys



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The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo. …where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO sightings?” (pp.281-82)

Sarah Turnbull

Tags: trees building public ufo city toilet lime loo trail



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I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137)

Stephen Clarke

Tags: school family morning kids tv cartoon neighbors routine bed toilet cannonball kitchen yelling megaphone urine baguette cartwheel ceiling deep-sea-divers-boots floor kangaroo madame parisians sledgehammers stampede



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It's an alien toilet!" -Cassie

Katherine Applegate

Tags: toilet cassie alien



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So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

Sarah Dessen

Tags: humour self-deprecation toilet



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