Average. It was the worst, most disgusting word in the English language. Nothing meaningful or worthwhile ever came from that word.
Portia de RossiTags: average portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
I don't know where this pressure came from. I can't blame my parents because it has always felt internal. Like any other parent, my mother celebrated the A grades and the less-than-A grades she felt there was no need to tell anybody about. But not acknowledging the effort that ended in a less than perfect result impacted me as a child. If I didn't win, then we wouldn't tell anyone that I had even competed to save us the embarrassment of acknowledging that someone else was better. Keeping the secret made me think that losing was something to be ashamed of, and that unless I was sure I was going to be the champion there was no point in trying. And there was certainly no point to just having fun.
Portia de RossiTags: success effort perfection competition pressure portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
I wondered if that's what aging felt like. That desire and reality were dueling until the day you die, that nobody every got to a place of peace. I had always wanted to get old so I didn't have to care anymore, but I began to think that it would be best just to skip the getting older part and just die.
Portia de RossiTags: age reality old portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
You don't have to be emaciated or vomiting to be suffering. All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering.
Portia de RossiTags: diet suffer portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
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