If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor love woman women murder time relationships necessity funny crazy justification husband wife desire need insane want alibi yearn justify word-junkies
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor life honesty love deception women lies relationships funny lie denial illusion illogical honest deceit machine deny suspicion broken lie-detector word-junkies
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor love men women romantic romance sleep sex relationships funny sleeping intensity focus intense reserve not-romantic make-love word-junkies
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor love writing god sex relationships funny amazement writer editing transformation lover absence amazing commas sex-god transform word-junkies
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor life love murder death relationships funny game word-junkies
If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor love funny value worth worthy bronze word-junkies medal silver-medal
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor honesty love food relationships funny dinner word-junkies
I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor love jealousy funny jealous sensitive word-junkies
I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.
Dark Jar Tin ZooTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping word-junkies
I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all.
Dora J. ArodTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping word-junkies
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