The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic monotone. European robots.

Christopher Moore

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You bitch! You killed me! You suck!

Christopher Moore

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My skin cleared up! I don't have a single zit." -Tommy
Ding, ding, ding," Jody onomatopeed, signaling that Tommy had hit on the correct answer.

Christopher Moore

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Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -Tommy

Christopher Moore

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She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.

Christopher Moore

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So, have you seen Flood?" she asked. "Cop?" She added "cop" with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession

Christopher Moore

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Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome

Christopher Moore

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I was all, "Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga!" (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.) -Abby

Christopher Moore

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Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention

Christopher Moore

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Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby

Christopher Moore

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