I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibility of him actual sex with a real girl.
Molly HarperTags: sex funny jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?
Molly HarperTags: questions surprises funny jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb pinata
Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs."
"I was curious!
Tags: funny vampire jane-jameson molly-harper bloodsucker nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?"
"Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.
Tags: funny sarcasm internet jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
You want to stab me again, don't you?"
He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."
I groaned. "I've created a monster."
"I don't think someone who recently crawled from the grave should be throwing around labels like 'monster,'" he said, making sarcastic little air-quotes fingers.
"It wasn't a grave," I sniffed. "It was a comfy four-poster.
Tags: funny monster jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb four-poster
Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.
Molly HarperTags: funny maturity kindergarten jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair.
Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen."
"Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy.
Tags: funny dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard mud missy nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."
I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent.
Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"
"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.
Tags: funny dog dick gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper richard fitz nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.
Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast.
"What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?
Too harsh?
Tags: funny sarcasm dick gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb postkill-comeback
She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad. "
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"
"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.
"Oh, big deal, " Missy huffed. "It's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. "
"You tried to hurt my dog, " I said again.
"I would have been doing you a favor. " Missy sneered.
"Nobody. Screws. With. My. Dog. " I growled, punctuating each word with a punch to Missy's face. I gave an upper cut to the chin that sent her flying back into a pile on the ground.
Zeb grinned at Dick and Gabriel. "Told you.
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