Whoa," Madison whistled, craning her neck to examine the chandelier.
"This is even fancier than Red Lobster," Reagan said in awe.
"Look at this rich people's hockey-stick holder," Madison said as she ran a slightly grubby finger along the edge of the antique umbrella stand. "I want one!

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Ouch!" Amy yelped, causing Hamilton to release her. "Sorry," she said, smiling as she rubbed her shoulder. "I'm just a little sore."
Madison nodded gravely. "Smart peole books are pretty heavy.

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Grace has way weirder people than me coming in and out all the time," Dan said. "You, on the other hand, are as boring as it gets. If Grace is worried about anyone cramping her style, I'd point to the gloomy nerd reading about Chucklesky."
"Tchaikovsky. He composed the score for the ballet The Nutcracker."
Dan thre his hands up. "How am I supposed to get any better at making you sound like a loser if you just do all the work for me?

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Ninja Assasins Incorporated, Dan Cahill speaking. Who would you like offed today?

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There stood Dan alone, with a ninja mask pulled over his face. Fifteen hissing bottle rockets were pointed right them.
"Screaming bottle of death-jutsu!" Dan yelled.

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Where'd you get that lighter?" she demanded.
"Frida," Dan said, closing it. "She left it behind. Remember how she was always talking about outdoorsy stuff? She said she kept a water-resistant lighter on her at all times, in case she needed emergency fire."
There was a short beat of silence in the dumpster.
"Huh," said Dan. "Except probably now.

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Dan opened the Zippo and lit the fuse.
It hissed for half a seconds, then the rocket shot screaming away.
Crack!
"Over there!" One of the kidnappers shouted.
Amy started to rise. "Let's go!"
"Wait," Dan said, aiming the second rocket. "It's a two-part plan." He lit the fuse and the rocket shot off in the direction of the would-be kidnappers.
"Auuuurrrrgghh!"
"Run now!" Dan said.
Amy and Dan burst from the dumpster and scrambled for the entrance of the lot. Looking behind him, Dan saw that one of the kidnappers was frantically fanning his butt, which was smoking slightly.
"Part two was completely unnecessary, wasn't it?" Amy yelled as they ran.
"Yup!

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I'm throwing out this bottle rocket."
"No, wait!" Dan said, reaching for it. "It hasn't been set off yet. Don't waste it, Amy. And we don't have company coming—we have Ian Kabra coming. And I know you want to totally impress him and take him to the movies and stare dreamily into his eyes—"
"I do not," Amy said, too quickly.
"Oh, Ian," Dan said, pressing his lightsaber to his chest and batting his eyes. "Tell me again about your shiny, shiny shoes.

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Ian Kabra had charm, wealth, and stunning good looks. But he couldn't move one stubborn cow out of the middle of the road.

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He looked back at the mirror. "I know it's completely ridiculous, but I can't keep quiet about it any longer. Your closet looks like it was put together by a blind nun, and your brother acts like a cross between a monkey and a go-kart, and you have the social skills of a rock. But I like you, Amy. Quite—quite a bit." He paused. "So, congratulations.

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