Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Dennis Miller


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Quote: You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?

Dennis Miller


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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.

Dennis Miller


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When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.

Dennis Miller


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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Dennis Miller

Mots clés humor police lol tracking



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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

Dennis Miller

Mots clés humor



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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Dennis Miller

Mots clés humorous-quotes



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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

Dennis Miller

Mots clés inspiration



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There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Dennis Miller

Mots clés humorous-quotes



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And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow

Dennis Miller

Mots clés feminism prochoice



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