This book is a guide to living life the right way, like the Bible is for crazies and weak people (JK, bro), this book should be to you.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor philosophy drinking
Throughout our history, humanity has been plagued with questions, and also plagued with regular plagues. I don't know much about biology, so I can't speak to actual plagues. However, I can answer all kinds of questions: moral, ethical, job-related, child rearing, party etiquette, romantic, technological, stuff about boobs, and my three faves: How do I have sex with someone and not talk to them again?, Can you hit a kid for a very, very good reason?, and of course How do you get a self-righteous asshole to shut the fuck up, even if they're right?
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
In this book I will teach you, based on stuff I have either made up, observed, or overheard, how to live the life you want--the life you Will. Obviously, if your name is Will and you are slow, this book will be confusing/upsetting. Be careful. Thanks.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
Let's start anew. Life is goals--Purpose-Attempts--Struggle-Dreams and Accomplishmenties. It sounds confusing (my fault), but it's actually simple.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
On a quick side note, I would argue that--much like Samuel L. Jackson--I am not arrogant at all; I'm just actually really, really great.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).
Eugene MirmanI was at peace with it; I'd taken his hatred and insecurity-driven malice and turned it into fame, money, and of course, pussy.
Eugene MirmanMots clés humor
Are you in any way qualified?
Yes? No? It doesn't matter. In America, "Qualification" is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.
Mots clés humor america attitude
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