Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something

Nick Offerman

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I eat a bunch of spinach, but only to clean out my pipes to make room for more ribs, fool! I will submit to fruit and zucchini, yes, with gusto, so that my steak-eating machine will continue to masticate delicious charred flesh at an optimal running speed. By consuming kale, I am buying myself bonus years of life, during which I can eat a shit-ton more delicious meat.

Nick Offerman


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Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!

Nick Offerman


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Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis (Google “Science”).

Nick Offerman

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