In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.
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He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity.
Sheldon B. KoppThe therapist can interpret, advise, provide the emotional acceptance and support that nurtures personal growth, and above all, he can listen. I do not mean that he can simply hear the other, but that he will listen actively and purposefully, responding with the instrument of his trade, that is, with the personal vulnerability of his own trembling self. This listening is that which will facilitate the patient's telling of his tale, the telling that can set him free. (5)
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All of the truly important battles are waged within the self. (7)
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Everything good is costly, and the development of the personality is one of the most costly of all things. It will cost you your innocence, your illusions, your certainty. (10)
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For each of us, the only hope resides in his own efforts, in completing his own story, not in the other's interpretation. (63)
Sheldon B. KoppThis wish to satisfy someone greater than the Self, to be found acceptable, to belong at last, is a struggle familiar to many psychotherapy patients. In their lives they waste themselves on wondering how they are doing, on trying to figure out the expectations of others so that they can become someone in the eyes of others. They try to be practical, to be reasonable, to figure it all out in their heads. It is as though if only they could get the words straight in their heads, if only they could find the correct formula, then everything else in their lives would be magically straightened out. They are sure there is a right way to do things, though they have not yet found it. Someone in authority must know...It is as thought if it were discovered that two and two really did not equal four (but five), then at that moment all over the world every machine would stop operating, all of the lights would go out. (110)
Sheldon B. KoppIt is not possible to know how much is just enough, until we have experienced how much is more than enough. (64)
Sheldon B. KoppOnly pains of life too intense to be borne could lead a man to forgo all response, to give up completely the joy of living as other men live. (153)
Sheldon B. KoppThe continuing struggle was once described in the following metaphor by a patient who had successfully completed a long course of psychotherapy: 'I came to therapy hoping to receive butter for the bread of life. Instead, at the end, I emerged with a pail of sour milk, a churn, and instructions on how to use them.' (138)
Sheldon B. KoppMots clés life
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