A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?


“I got him a cool gift. I got him a pack of razors, and a really furry dead cat.”

“On a scale of 1-10, I'd probably be considered obese. Though I weigh much more …”

“I'm the only person I know who has slept through a fire drill. Apparently, I pu…”

“I’ll put some ice in your coffee, to cover up the fact that it was already cold…”