A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

“I plan on putting off death my whole life.”

“I feel self-conscious calling my cat fat in front of a fat person, considering …”

“Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are ou…”