A brick could be used as a flashlight. What, still dark? Check the batteries, because they may be dead. 


“Love is a good thing. Not starving to death is also a good thing. Being in love…”

“A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.
”

“I sleep on the coasts of my bed, but I make love in the Midwest.”

“I can scratch “scratch myself” off my list of things to do.”