A brick could be used as the ultimate bug crusher. But why you’d use a brick as a shoe, I have no idea.


“A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard.
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“She called and said she had to cancel tomorrow. “Cancel tomorrow!” I shrieked. …”

“If I were a magician, I’d hand out broken compasses. It’s all about misdirectio…”

“A brick could be held in one hand, and a stack of dollar bills in the other, to…”