A brick could be used in place of a parachute, and a blanket could be used as a permanent wall of a house. In both cases, the skydiver and home dweller would ideally be a politician.


“Nine out of ten Jarod Kintzes agree that there is only one Jarod Kintz.”

“Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” …”

“I’ll piss in a cup for you. You can run a drug test on it, or you can drink it.”

“When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot …”