A brick could be used to support a wobbly table. Who got that table drunk, anyway?


“My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I fee…”

“There’s always going to be a criminal element in the population. At least as lo…”

“With 87 other Elvis impersonators, I’m going to take over the world. Starting w…”

“My plan to live from 65 to forever is to simply keep showing up. I also don’t w…”