A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 


“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my han…”

“You shit sheep shapes, and I shit wolves as brown as bark. It’s all politics.”

“My phone died, so I cremated it along with my grandpa. Well, he was taking up t…”

“Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, why don…”