A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no gust will knock your hat off.


“This presidential election will be as electric as an eel—and just as snakelike.”

“What do you call a schooner in a wine glass? Port.”

“If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only no…”

“Would you agree with the statement: Love is a hamburger? If yes, would you like…”