A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give me a birthday present every year. It owes its life to me.

“I want a piece of apple pie so large I could wedge a For Sale sign in it and ma…”

“The best part about love is it’ll still be around long after I’m dead. That’s a…”

“A blanket could be used as a tarp to cover an outdoor swimming pool the size of…”

“I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Pape…”