A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.

“On TV, I can hit the mute button and silence any moron. I wish real life came w…”

“I make ridiculous like I make damn sure nobody sees me while I’m making it.”

“After dinner I told her I wouldn’t put away the plates, because I might cause a…”

“Before I grab your ass, I’ll take off my gloves. They’re cutting off circulatio…”