A great gift would be a map full of evacuation routes for the city, subtly telling the recipient to get the hell out of town.

“I’d like to make a statement, and I’d like to make it out of my own small intes…”

“A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!
”

“Things to do in an elevator: Install a glass display, like in a museum, over th…”

“I am who I’ve been pretending to be my whole life.”