A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. That’s why I travel with a fishing pole, and erectile dysfunction medicine.

“If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate yo…”

“Death is like bedtime—we all want to put it off until tomorrow. But when you’re…”

“Because of the age difference, I assumed they were related, mother/daughter. Bu…”

“You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep …”