A slice of cheese is like a blanket on a burger, and I sleep with pillows shaped like pickles.

“I’m a typical atypical kind of guy.”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d gue…”

“No matter what I see, I always think, “They just don’t make them like they used…”

“I used pleading insanity as a threat, and now I employ it as a party favor. (Th…”