A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss ever.

“I’ve learned to not let rejection bother me. How can it bother me, when all the…”

“I could tell we were going to get along from the way he wiped his ass—on my tie.”

“She was a tall drink of water, and I was a glass half full kind of guy—half ful…”

“I made love in a HAZMAT suit. I think I contaminated the relationship.”