A stranger left a white jacket, and it’s tempting for me to grab it, put it on, and use it like a shield against the spaghetti I’ll soon be eating. When I splatter red sauce all over myself, I don’t feel like a slob—I feel like a warrior.

“You will know my power when you feel me compress you into a ball and bowl with …”

“Sunlight is great in a convertible, but it is not convertible to lemonade or lo…”

“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick…”

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it …”