A tickle, an itch, and a scratch walk into a bar while I was in the corner drinking a thermos full of epidermis, and I thought, this must be what love feels like.

“Of all things possible, the impossible is the only one worth skipping sex for.”

“My love is as blue as the sky, and if I had to attach a time to it I’d say midn…”

“Some people work in the medical field, others in the legal field, while I work …”

“A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar i…”