After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography.

“Last night the secrets of the universe were revealed to me, and they had nipple…”

“Don’t shave my head to make your wig of selfishness. Shave it because you care.”

“Bricks could be used to generate smiles among the general population. Just hand…”

“A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! …”