All drivers run red lights the same way—with a glance in the rearview mirror to see if a cop saw them. I love the same way—with a sense of defiance, urgency, emergency, and caution that comes too late.

“I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps.”

“Trying to stay within my budget, I bought napkins instead of underwear. They’re…”

“I admire your mustache madam, but I wonder, what’s for dessert?”

“I can’t offer you anything to drink, but I can offer you an excuse. Would you l…”