America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists.

“I wear my shirts inside out, because I’m an introvert.”

“It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like p…”

“I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Dev…”

“I like sauce in my cereal. But not just any sauce, it has to be a cream sauce, …”