An octopus has eight legs. You know what else has eight legs? My bed last night. Oh, I didn’t have a foursome, but I did sleep with six prosthetic legs (I have a bad back).

“People are like books. You can either read them, or you can burn them. But befo…”

“Everyone in the world ages at exactly the same rate and time. We’re all getting…”

“I had a Chinese girlfriend once who asked me how much she meant to me. I knew v…”

“I want to study a broad. Possibly French.”