Any advice I might give a depressed person comes in the form of cyanide, and usually is a bit hard for them to swallow.

“I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a coupl…”

“She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down …”

“It’s so windy outside that there are waves in my cereal bowl. I was out of milk…”

“I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air.”