Anything more than 5/10ths makes me tense

“I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was j…”

“She gave me the cold shoulder, so I heated it up in the microwave. Sometimes #l…”

“When I couldn’t grow a full beard I took it as a sign from God to grow a mustac…”

“My friend Angela, she’s no angel. But my friend Demonica, she’s aptly named.”