As an extreme method of saving, I’d kidnap myself, if I thought I’d actually pay the ransom money before I committed suicide.

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was do…”

“I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my sil…”

“Hey, turn down the volume on your “How To Make Love Like Lucifer Hand Guide Vol…”

“As an atheist hates Christmas, I hate the fourth of July.”