At my bachelor party I had Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper dressed like jet fuel (Rocket Man).

“I got my nails done today. I’m so glad that after 30 years, they’re finally fin…”

“I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make …”

“Last February had 29 days. It wasn’t a leap year, but me and 28 of my clones ea…”

“People say I can handle pressure, but there is one sporting competition where i…”