At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and while I wasn’t the best looking, my brother was two years younger and therefore not in my graduating class.

“A blanket could be used to let the world know how serious you are. I’m serious,…”

“My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88…”

“If I collected dust, I wouldn’t mind if I got dust on it. My collection would g…”

“Hoping you were the first to do something, and fearing you weren’t the first, w…”