Back in high school, I started a gang called “The Illiterates.” To easily identify fellow gang members, we all wore letterman jackets.

“Uncle Sam’s not related to me. He’s stuck his dick in the American Pie too many…”

“My cat’s favorite chew toy is a pen. I’d wager that he is a better writer than …”

“I just quit the Please Police. No need to say Thank You or protest or start a r…”

“Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tel…”