Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.

“I am Mr. Needleneeds, and I’m looking for a haystack. It’s easier to find than …”

“I am a jealous husband wife, and I feel your pain. All of it, for all of you.”

“Call me Clyde. Call me Dale. Call me a Clydesdale.”

“I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison sys…”