Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is reflected off the moon.

“The fog scattered the light and spread it thick like mayonnaise. It was late an…”

“She called and said she had to cancel tomorrow. “Cancel tomorrow!” I shrieked. …”

“My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.”

“A brick could be used in place of a parachute, and a blanket could be used as a…”