Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of pa…”

“I drink screwdrivers because they help me unwind.”

“It’s amazing how my whole body can be covered up in bed except for one inch on …”

“I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly di…”