Bitch, this is a gun...

“I trudged down the stairs and stood on the sidewalk examining my car. Deep scra…”

“I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas." She…”

“Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pis…”

“Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which …”