Brushed nickel is a look I like to spend wisely.

“My name is Couch Choochoo, and I’m here to train you.”

“I recorded the ding-dong sound that shoplifting sensors at the doors of Wal-Mar…”

“If I owned the Grand Canyon, it would be my largest antique.”

“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended …”