Bums are called bums because they sit on their ass all day.

“I want to create a word that means “There’s probably a word for that,” but ther…”

“I’d like to play a game of Marco Polo—in the 13th century.”

“I’m getting gray hair in all sorts of crazy places. Like all over my carpet. It…”

“She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like …”