But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if I can’t eat it all I’ll take the leftovers home so I can heat up my loneliness and enjoy it for dinner tomorrow night.

“A brick could be used as a comb, if you’re bald and have no hair.
”

“There was something fishy about Mr. Dolphin, even though he seemed to be a regu…”

“Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I'd rather not die from sex. I…”

“Thomas Jefferson is by far the smartest president,” said Thomas Jefferson, abou…”