By day I’m a dishwasher in a suit. By night I’m a dishwasher in pajamas.

“I like wearing earmuffs. They keep my balls warm.”

“Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published …”

“Thank God I have enough skin to cover my entire body. But just barely. If my pe…”

“I’m underwhelming. Whelming is the woman riding me.”